Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My balls are so social today.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
