I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
