You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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