Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
