Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
