I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
