GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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