i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
