her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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