Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
