I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
