i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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