i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
