It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
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