you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
