I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
