I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
we made out on top of his cat.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
