I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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