Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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