And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
