ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
