Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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