You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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