Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
