dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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