I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
