There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
