if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
