I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
