More tranny stories later!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
