whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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