if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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