so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
