everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
