garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
