I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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