Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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