Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
