I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
