You're so nebulous sometimes
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
