I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
