Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
