The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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