What a fucking waste of an outfit
lets start a swedish sibling band together
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
