I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
