So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
