You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
