im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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