I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
well you can't waste a boner
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
