Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
