I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
