i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
